You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
This house was built for laser tag.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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