with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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