You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Your cock deserves a montage
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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