I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize