Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
