My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
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does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
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From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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