I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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