sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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