p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I think I won the penis lottery.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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