I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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