They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
