Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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