sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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