Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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