I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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