I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
