Sponge bath it is.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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