so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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