She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
