We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
