$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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