my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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