I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
of course. lets lasso hookers.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
