Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
