I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
