Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
