New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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