how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
