Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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