We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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