as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize