I think I died a long time ago.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
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