I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
