WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Randomize
