Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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