Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
