You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
