I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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