It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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