then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
