Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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