TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
