why didn't you poke me back
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize