how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
