She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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