It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
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Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
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I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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