I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
