a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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