ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
