I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
