She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
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i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Just puked most of my soul out..
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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