I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
