I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize