10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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