we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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