the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
